News Flash - Target Hires the Crazies

So, this is going to be TMI, but for some reason going to Target sends a tiny little signal to my bowel that makes me have to go potty almost every time I go shopping there. (Yes, I know this and even try to take care of business before I go, but it is inevitable.) So, last night, while at Target, I make my usual way to the restroom. I walk inside and there is a Target employee in there, and at first it looked to me like she was washing her hands and cleaning up. Nothing unusual for a Target employee. So I make my way into the stall, and shut the door. At this point, she starts whispering to herself and gets really puffy. I discern from some of the ramblings that she intended to go into the stall I was in and she was not happy I now occupied it. So she starts pacing in the bathroom, still talking to herself. Mind you, there are many other stalls open, so I am not preventing her from taking care of business. I then assume that she still needed to clean the stall I was in and was frustrated to have to wait. About the time I am thinking of hurrying up and getting out of this crazy ladies way, she goes into the stall next to me, SLAMS the door shut and prepares to use the facilities. I relax, figuring I now had some time (told you this was going to be a TMI story). Now I know we all do it, so do not judge me here, but I notice her bathroom habits. She sits down, and starts to pee. Very little comes out. She then starts talking to herself, and says a little louder, "Shit, shit, shit, shit" over and over. She then begins to wipe herself VIGOROUSLY! Now I am scared. I am finishing up to get away from it all, get my laundry detergent and get the hell out of there. But she beats me to it. She zips up, leaves the stall and washes her hands. AND THEN STARTS PACING AGAIN! I am done, so I get up and get out of the stall, only to be almost mowed down by her as she goes into the stall I was just in, to use the bathroom again. Like by using my stall the peeing process is going to go better. Now I understand, maybe she had a bladder infection or some other womanly issue that was causing her duress. And she was at work and was stressed out about it. But please tell me, why was my stall better for dealing with this issue than the one she was previously in? And when I came in she was washing her hands. Had she just come out of another stall that did not work out for her? These are things I thought about as I paid and left. And no, she still had not come out of the bathroom by the time I was done.

PS While this was a long explanation, I was really not in the bathroom as long at it seems.