My grandpa

My grandpa had a stroke this morning. We are so very blessed, as it was minor. He is currently staying at the hospital for observation, but all is looking well. He has lost some function in his right hand, but it has already made some improvements, so the doctors are optomistic. I do not know if I have fully processed the events of today.... My mom called at 10 to say he had a stroke and he was in the ER. She knew nothing more. I honestly thought I was going to lose my grandpa today. I am still crying just thinking about it. He is 95. It is inevitable I am going to loose him sometime in the next few years. But I just cannot be ready for it. I love him the way only a grandchild can, because even though I am 32, he is still as perfect to me as he was when I was 6. And when he is not here, I am going to miss him horribley, much like I do my grandmother. All I keep thinking now is going to see him even more than I do now, and taking pictures of every moment he spends with Munchi. Munchi LOVES him. He can even say great-grandpa in his own little way. My grandpa has blessed my life in ways he will never know or understand.

Medical Coverage is a Scam

So, now that Dirk does not have a job, we have had to go on COBRA. Since this costs us $1300 a month, we decided to apply for coverage on our own. UGH! The things they ask about your medical history. And they actually expect you to know the dates you went to the doctor and why for the last 7 years. Seven years ago I was living with my parents, getting my Master's degree, and has just moved back from Florida. Hell if I know when and why I saw a doctor back then. They are lucky I can remember back to the birth of Munchi these days.

Anyway, after requesting medical records from our doctors over the last three weeks, we have finally submitted our application. The fun part? They can decline us because of pre-existing conditions, and our weight.... What is someone supposed to do if they can't afford COBRA and can't get other coverage? Suddenly I see why health care is a hot topic this election. Maybe I should actually be paying attention!

I went to the spa all day yesterday and even had an 80 minute massage and facial. My masseuse told me I was one of the more tense people she had seen in a long time. She rubbed the hell out of my shoulders and neck. And I actually was able to sleep more than 4 hours last night. Now, after medical covergae hell, I am already back to my wonderful, tense, insomniac self.

Happy Father's Day!

The things I love about my husband, as a dad:
1. Plays with Munchi like only a daddy can (how do men learn to make car noises like that?)
2. Never hesitates to change a diaper
3. Makes Munchi smile the biggest smile you have ever seen just by entering the room
4. Willingly gets up in the middle of the night to comfortMunchi after one of his nightmares
5. Wants to be the one to carry Munchi into any new situation, not just to comfort him, but because he is so proud to be his daddy

Things I love about my dad:
1. He is smarter than any person I know
2. While it is rare he shows affection or emotion, he still calls me by my childhood nickname that only he uses. And everytime he says it, I can hear the affection.
3. He LOVES being a Grandpa, and talks about his grandkids obsessively
4. He willingly treated me like an adult when I was a teenager, even though I never acted like one
5. He treats me as an equal now
6. People I do not even know treat me with respect, because they know my dad, and hold him in high regard.
7. He taught me how to love God in a logical way, based on fact not just a feeling
8. He taught me to trust my feelings when fact fails

Thank you Dirk and Dad, for being such amazing men in me and Munchi's lives.

Fun on the Web

Every once in a while, randomly surfing the web pays off. Do not ask me what led me here, but I found a website run by a stay at home mom that sells the cutest notepads to help us stay organized : http://www.lobotome.com/index.html

Also, the mom happens to blog, so I have included her blog in my must see list to the left, as she has some great ideas for going green and staying organized. I find moms who have the time and will to make these kind of changes in their lives, and who are creative enough to create their own businesses very inspiring. I can always dream.....

A shout out to Carebear

If all goes according to plan, today is the first day of DDT's pacifier intervention. We wish you all the very best. You are MUCH braver than Dirk and I can get ourselves to be right now!

We are here if you need us for a sanity check.

Top Chef Spoiler

If you have Tivo'd the Top Chef finale and not watched it, do not read any further.

Woohoo!! Go Stephanie! While I would have rather seen Antonia win, I think Stephanie deserves to be the first female Top Chef. And how dare they let me think that Lisa could win! She deserves nothing! I felt for Richard though. He was the strongest contest throughout the entire show, but choked at the end. While I am happy to see a women win this season, I wouldn't have minded seeing Richard take it all.

Well, now Top Chef and Survivor are over for the season. What to do this summer?

Hit the limit

Of all the days Munchi decides not to sleep more than 45 minutes. I actually allowed myself to lay down for a good solid nap today, since I have not slept more than 4 hours at night in the last three weeks, and he gets up only twenty minutes after I fall asleep.... Why does it work that way?
Sleepy in Sleeplessland

Monchhichi

I found the official Monchhichi site:


http://www.monchhichi.eu/


I especially love the pirate Monchhichi.



And did you know that there is a Bebichhichi?

Very busy day

Munchi and I started the day at Target. I think this is a great way to get going in the morning, looking around at things I wish I could afford. I did buy 69 cent plastic cups for the summer and some sand toys for Munchi, as well as food and cleaning supplies. The excitement never ceases. Once Munchi got up from his nap we met Carebear and DDT at the beach. We took a nice healthy walk on the pier, and then took the boys to play in the sand. Munchi kills me sometimes. At first, he would not even get in the sand and climbed right back into his stroller. I finally convinced him to come play with his new sand toys for a while. Once he got going, he would get mad anytime I would redirect him or pick him up. So now sand is the best thing ever! At one point he was climbing over a little wall onto a bike path so I picked him up and put him on the other side. BIG FIT! Face first into the sand because he was mad, and boy, did he learn a first important lesson about sand. It was up his nose, and in his mouth. YUCK! I expect to see a lot of sand in his poop over the next few days :) Next he started running away from me right into oncoming bike traffic, and fell. I thought he was fine, but by the time I got to the car, a huge pavement burn came up on his leg, and I noticed a gash in his toe. Eh, he's fine. And he talked and laughed in his car seat the whoel way home, so he obviously had a great time!

Now we are watching Hell's Kitchen. I am amazed how often someone can fit the F-word into a conversation, and still be on TV. But I cannot get enough of cooking shows, and reality TV in general. I am having serious Survivor withdrawls.

Relaxing Day

Took Munchi to visit Grandma today. He loved it. He got to sit at her desk and play with her computer, print out whatever he typed into Word, and waste as much of the calculator tape as he possibly could. Afterwards we went back to her house to have dinner and play. Everyone told me that having kids is such a blessing. And I could not agree more. But some of the blessings Munchi has brought into my life were totally unexpected. My mom and I had a rough childhood. We never connected, and many hurtful things occured between us. When Munchi was born I vowed that my mom would never be able to babysit. I said it was because I did not want her to hurt him they way she did me. But the truth was, it was going to be my form of punishment for my childhood. Deny her her grandchild. But instead, Munchi helped heal my relationship with my mom. She may not have been the mother she should have been, but she is an amazing grandmother. And while I cannot forget, I can now forgive. Because I love that my son gets the very best of her.

Weekend fun

We had some friends over last night that do not have kids yet. That means, they were actually able to stay past 7 o'clock! I cannot remember the last time we had people over who could hang out after kids bedtime, and play games and chat. It was really nice. But of course, I am exhausted today because I was up past my bedtime. So I took a nap today. While for most , that sounds wonderful, but I am a bad napper. I wake up cranky. I can't shake the tired feeling. And I usually have a headache. Thank goodness for my husband, who is playing with Munchi while I sit and blog.

Speaking of thanking God, we went to church this morning. We went two weeks ago also, which was the first time in a VERY long time. I enjoyed this new church, and it felt good to be worshipping again, but I had the worst time leaving Munchi in their nursery. And today he cried hysterically when we left, even though he had paci and blankie. I am totally the sucker mom I used to make fun of when I volunteered in the nursery in high school. The second he starts crying, I run back in and comfort him. I know, I know. It just makes it worse, because he starts crying again when I leave and just perpetuates the issue, but I can't help myself. He is so shy in new situations and I feel bad not having the time to help him acclimate before I just leave. He did fine once I left though, especially since someone held him the whole time while he sat with paci and blankie. What an adorable little Munchi!

So, here is what I got from church today, which really has nothing to do with the sermon, but it was something I felt while I was there. For the rest of the year I am going to focus on the following three "L's" -
-Love of my life
-Laziness
-Lola

Love of my life -
Dirk (husband) and I have struggled in our marriage since the first day. We are dedicated, and we love each other, so we always make things work, and we always want the best. We just have a hard time connecting the way we should. My friend Carebear made me realize something. She talks of her husband in such an amazing way, where I can tell he is the love of her life, and she feels blessed by him. It is not like everything is always perfect, just that there is such a positiveness about her love for him. All my friends love our husbands, but I think we get caught up in using each other to vent our frustrations, and we build an us and them wall.... But Carebear, she talks like there is a partnership and respect that I really appreciate. And I want that. So I have decided to purposely change the way I think and talk about Dirk. To do these things like he is the love of my life, as it should be. Thank you Carebear for being such an inspiration.

Laziness -
Speaks for itself, I think. My couch has a permenant imprint of my ass on it. And things that should be getting done around our house don't get done. And my weight skyrockets everyday (more on that in a moment).

Lola -
Lola was my best friend. We have known each other for 13 years. We have gone through a lot together. But the last three years have been really rough, and everything came to a head lately. More details on that at another time, but I am going to try and figure out what I want from our relationship, and if there is anything there worth saving.

Well, last blog I promised to focus on the many things in life that I love, so here is my quick list, not necessarily in order:
1. God
2. Dirk
3. Munchi
4. My cat, Gary
5. This amazing 79 degree weather we have been having
6. My brother, sister-in-law, and nieces
7. My parents
8. Ben and Jerry's Coffee Heathbar Crunch ice cream
9. Survivor
10. Scrapbooking.
11. My 95 year old granpa

Gotta go, Dirk is hounding me for the computer.

Need Sleep

Here it goes....

My first blog. Thank you to Carebear for the idea, though my husband may be calling to chew you out. I don't really need another excuse to be on my laptop. Speaking of my laptop, what a beat up piece of crap. It has no enter key, one of the pieces holding up the screen is broken so the wires show through and the screen barely stands up on it's own, the power cord has had to be revamped after the duct tape no longer worked, which means that my computer does not always turn on. And I fully plan to use it until it refuses to continue working. This way I can hang out on my couch (the reason why my ass continues to grow) and blog all night when Munchi (my son) goes to bed. Speaking of Munchi.... He is refusing to go to bed. Almost 2 hours after bed time, and he is still whining in his crib. I think it is all the excitment of playing with DDT. He did all sorts of new things at the zoo, like petting a goat. His absolute favorite animal right now for some reason. I am praying he stays asleep tonight. I am done with being awake at 2am.

Well, I must say, nice first blog. A bunch of bitching.... I swear, next blog will chronicle the things I love about my life (and it will be a much longer list!)

Picture of husband and son: